The Poker World

It is now almost a year since poker chose me, and, I after some hesitation, accepted that poker has become the center of my life for as long as she desires. In other words, I have now for almost a year relied on poker as my sole source of income. I never really desired to become a pro, it just happened.

And what have I learned throughout this my rookie year as a pro? Some of you are probably thinking about how much I've earned, but that question is really irrelevant, as money comes and goes so fast at times that it is hard to remain sane. So a fundamental truth of being a professional gambler is that you cannot take anything for granted. But more importantly, it's what you learned that really matters, as this is a long-term investment in your business. As your opponents get sharper all the time too, and as it is survival of the fittest, there really is no "making it" as a pro. All there is, is the daily fight to grind it out so you can stay in action for one more day. The best of the best are therefore not those who win the most over any given period of time, but those who manage to remain at the highest tables year after year.

I recently read an interesting Article in Card Player Magazine Where Mike Sexton was referring to a discussion he had had with Chip Reese about Stu Ungar. It read as follows: "He and I were talking one day about Stu Ungar. He agreed with me about Stuey's unparalleled talent and abilities as a player. But, Chip then said the magic words to me: "Stuey's problem was that he never understood the object of the game." The object of the game is to increase your wealth, improve your lifestyle, and provide for your family."

It is obvious that many professional poker players do not understand the object of the game, as stated by Chip Reese. As a matter of fact what I see again and again (and get myself into again and again) has to do with the ancient Greek myth of Icarus: "Daedalus conceived to escape from the Labyrinth with Icarus from Crete by constructing wings and then flying to safety. He built the wings from feathers and wax, and before the two set off he warned Icarus not to fly too low lest his wings touch the waves and get wet, and not too high lest the sun melt the wax. But the young Icarus, overwhelmed by the thrill of flying, did not heed his father's warning, and flew too close to the sun whereupon the wax in his wings melted and he fell into the sea."

Especially on the Internet you see a bunch of young kids dominating the high limit games. Most of them don't have a family yet, they have no idea of money's worth as the sums they win and lose have no meaningful relationship to things you can buy. Increasing their wealth therefore mainly becomes an issue of bankroll to play even higher games. These guys play to be "overwhelmed by the thrill of flying," which I believe that you have to do to a certain extent in order to become better all the time. I know I am guilty of wanting to fly to the sun, and yet I am happy if I have enough to supply my modest needs.

Because whereas I have seen many a talented player rise to the sky just to fall like Icarus, and though I have striven and failed, I have always been saved by my parachute, which I described in my article on bank roll management. And this has to do with something I knew even before I took up poker as a hobby. The value of money is inversely correlated to the amount of money you have. In other words - Being broke sucks! When you only have 10 bucks left and it's a week till payday, those ten bucks are important. As a matter of fact money becomes an overriding priority, and you will have to think of money - how you spend it to get through the coming week and how you get hold of some more money. When you have 10 grand money is really not an issue, and you can enjoy the freedom it of not having to think about money all the time. As a matter of fact, the single most important benefit of my current line of business is that I have not had to think about money at any moment. This is only because I have managed my bankroll with care, despite flying high at times and falling fast at times. And when I look at myself and compare me to most pro players I've known, I believe that this is my strongest edge: I am extremely skilled at losing!!!

I think it makes a lot of sense to talk about two different types of pros: the grinders and the Icaruses. For the grinders the main objective of the game is to increase their wealth. They don't have much ambition (left) in them, and stick to tables where they know they are long term winners. That is - they don't move up and down in limit much, they just grind it out wherever their skills have led them. You will rarely find grinders above the mid limits, and when you do they will usually be the fish at the table, as the fearless and imaginative Icaruses will cause them to play fearfully and will have good control of them. The Icaruses on the other hand will move up and down limit a lot. They will move up when they can, because that's their nature, and they will fall down when they get burned. I believe that all the very best poker players in the world are Icaruses, because without ambition you will never get to the sun. Somehow I feel that I am a weird blend of a grinder and an Icarus.

Recently I played my first major live tourney, and on my first table there was a guy who was well worth listening to. He said one thing that struck me as beautiful: "Everybody wants to get to Paradise - but nobody wants to die to get there". This past year has been the first year I have played live poker for more then sheer relaxation. And the funny thing is that I have been recognized as a pro by the players at my tables, and I also reclines who's who within an hour or two when I play live these days. Lots of professional players have other occupations too, but all of them have something that is rather rare among people. They seem to have a full acceptance of themselves, including whatever may be considered flaws. I believe that even Phil Hellmuth (who judging from what I have seen of him on TV, does not appear to be a very likable person), if he was given the choice that he could be any living person on earth, would chose himself. They are capable of "being present" to an extreme degree. They are also fearless to various degrees. Whereas the money actually means something for most tourists, it's just another day on the office for the pro. Sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses, but apart from prolonged losing streaks, it doesn't really matter to him. And finally, I have never met a pro who was bragging about his skills. I have met many players who have been telling me about how much money they'd won, and what a great player they considered themselves to be. But being a pro is not about how much you win, it's about being able to stay in action year after year. And those who have succeeded in that have been through some long dry spells involving a pain so intense that it cannot be explained. That will teach you humility.

A few Icaruses may not be like that. As a matter of fact a lot of the Icarus types (including a significant number of the celebrities on the World Poker Circuit) are pretty much broke and miserable most of the time. They owe money when they run bad and lend out money when they run good, and even have to get staked to play at times. But as long as your skill is recognized and your word is bond, you will always be able to stay in action through being part of the Icarus community. Given the relative value of money, I can understand why they might not always be humble and reasonable, and I am truly happy that this is not what I am. Yet this is what most good poker players end up being. That or broke.

So overall this has been an eventful year for me. And unless I get bored with poker or go bust, I expect still to be here a year from now. This is no guarantee though, as I have seen people like me stay around for years and then bust out. But I like the fact my life is completely without any sense of direction. I also like the fact that I have to do my very best to succeed at what I do to be able to keep doing it. That makes my life very intense. And finally I have come fully to accept the fact that all things in life seem to be half a consequence of my actions and half sheer luck. That has taught me that whatever happens the blame or credit is only half mine. Somehow I I feel that this is comforting to know and it takes the edge of the highs and lows that comes with the trade.

Thanks to Leigh Lightfoot-Martin for proof reading this article.

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