The Quick Fix

Everybody seems to be looking for a quick fix these days. Just eat this pill and the pain will go away. Buy this stuff and you'll lose 40 pounds in two weeks without changing your lifestyle. Maybe it is your turn to win the lottery? I guess we are all dreamers to some extent, but when it comes to gambling this trait of personality can cause you to make some of the worst mistakes imaginable. The typical gambler has a tendency to bet on his luck awaiting him right around the corner. As long as the game is still going there's still a chance to get back even. And when he's running well he usually deploys a lavish lifestyle (better to spend it while you still have it) and increases the stakes. Why does he do that? My best guess is that he discovered that a pile of chips somehow doesn't add up to the good life. It's just a pile of chips. More wants more, and the good life still awaits right around the corner. So before you even start out gambling, you had better ask yourself what you are running away from. What are your pains? Because it will always be there somewhere deep within, until you stop running and face it. Gambling has always been a kind of escapism. Sure enough - poker is also a sport and a great hobby. But it is gambling just the same.

I remember some time during my rookie year, someone asking at the forum what table image you should employ. Should you try to be rude and intimidating, a quiet pokerfaced guy, or the jolly talkative fellow? One of the experienced posters recommended that you plain and simply be what you are. While this piece of advice might seem trivial, I tell you that it is not. As a matter of fact, it often takes years of hard work to become you. Somehow gambling has a tendency to magnify the weakness in us. For that reason alone, it is worth a lot to actually know your weaknesses before you start to play. So lets take a look at some common human defects:

1. fear of not being socially accepted

2. fear of your emotions showing

3. fear of defeat fear of losing yourself

4. fear of facing situations you cannot fully comprehend (calling stations, weakness)

5. weak planning skills (borrowing, getting sucked in)

Somehow all the above boils down to a fear of getting rejected by your surroundings for not being good enough. And this fear can generate a lot of tension that can result in decisions founded solely upon emotional drives as opposed to rational analysis of the situation at hand. The classic example of this is when a person starts to play back really loose and aggressively when he just can't stand getting pushed around anymore. I guess every single poker player in the world can point to situations where he lost his brains and let his emotions control his behavior completely. This is why I believe that every expert poker player have to accept himself and his emotions completely, even those he's not too proud of. You will have to accept yourself completely before you will be able to assess your emotional state continuously and take relevant precautionary measures. While I can't say that I've found the Holy Grail on this, I do have a few recommendations that have worked well for me at the tables, as in life in general.

6. Being aware of your emotional status is a huge first step. When you discover that you feel angry or intimidated at the table, simply tell yourself (verbally) that you are angry. Getting conscious of these subconscious emotions often deprives them of a good deal of their power. Telling yourself that the emotion is there makes it easier to let it stay there, while regaining focus on the game (as opposed to being focused on some emotions) and on avoiding the mistakes that the feelings usually cause you to make.

7. Be humble. I have a poker buddy who complains even when he posts a small win. Acknowledging the fact that you always run a risk of losing will ease the tension caused by overly high expectations. As a matter of fact, I prefer to forget all about expectations as soon as I have decided that the game is good enough for me to take a seat. Expectations are something of the future, and I always struggle to focus my full awareness on the present, exploiting the opportunities as they arise (though I'll readily admit that I have considerable scope for improvement on this area).

8. Never buy in more then once. Buy in for what you feel you can afford to lose. In this way money will feel a lot more 'expendable' relieving you of the fear of losing. It also prevents you from playing with scared money, which is always a recipe for disaster (emotions taking control of your brain).

9. Learn to forgive yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. Learn from your mistakes, and let them go. There is no reason to keep blaming yourself after you have learned the lesson to be learned from it. If you were supposed to have been perfect you would have been created as a God instead of a mortal human. As this is not the case, learn to accept this simple fact of life.

10. Congratulate yourself as frequently as possible at the table as well as when you are away from it. I remember my teenage years when I was a skinny shy and generally not a popular fellow. At the time, I tried anything to fit in with the crowd. But one day I simply decided that I'd had enough of this, and from that day on I have always looked myself firmly in the eye when watching myself in the mirror. I might not be rich, handsome or whatever, but I am what I am, and I don't want to be something else. My job is to use the talents I got instead of focusing on the talents that others got. In short - I started to like myself, and I believe that that is a huge edge in a poker game. For instance, it is really hard to make me go on tilt, for I know that as a human being I'm good enough - even when I'm being mutilated at the table. It just doesn't affect my ego very much anymore. It also allows me to be quite open-minded, which is a prerequisite for being able to pick up on how your opponents think. Don't let poker be your main source of self-esteem. Lady Luck will crush you if you do!

11. Learn that luck is not out to get you. You are probably not more unlucky then everybody else, and when you are lucky someone else has to be unlucky for it all to balance out. When you feel really unlucky, think of the times it was worse. And if you can't think of it ever having been worse, think of other people who face a tougher life then yours. In poker as in life the trick is to learn to play the hand you're dealt, instead of wishing that the hand you hold were aces instead of whatever cards you hold. We can't all have aces all the time, and even when we do they are not supposed to win every time. Stay focused on reality.

Happiness is relative to what you're used to. When something really bad happens you start out being in despair. But you get used to it. If something good happens to you, you get used to that too, and start to regard it as the nature of things. Winning and losing in poker wont change your general state of mind, and that is exactly what you want, when you go out looking for that quick fix. Getting peace with yourself is a long term commitment. Poker might make you forget yourself, but it's like wetting your pants to keep warm. It won't last.

After re-reading this article, I see that it doesn't include much on poker. Yet, what is written here states why I keep playing the game. Poker is an extremely emotional game and the struggle to stay balanced is what makes poker difficult no matter how experienced and skilled you are. I like that challenge, and I think it makes me sharp in other aspects of life as well. Often the toughest opponent you will encounter is yourself. So you better start studying him.

Once again I'd like to thank Leigh Lightfoot for proof reading my articles.

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