LIFE AND TIMES OF A SIT & GO

Poker Stars Turbo No Limit Hold-Em. $5.00 Buy-In. 6 Players.

Seat 1 - Boozer
Seat 2 - Lucky Lad
Seat 3 - Fred & June
Seat 4 - The Pro
Seat 5 - Numbers Man
Seat 6 - The Amateur (me)

1st Hand - Boozer gets dealt a 2-6 off suit. Boozer's just back from the bar with his two buddies, Jack Daniels and Budweiser. He knows he's a great poker player cause his two buddies tell him so. He knows that if the turn comes A-3-4-5-7 he'll have a really big straight and take the pot, so he goes all-in.

Everybody else folds except for Lucky Lad. He's holding pocket Aces and calls Boozer all-in. Lucky Lad is a teenager. Been playing Sims 2 but got bored, so he fired up some on-line poker. His buddy Chad told him about on-line poker, said it was just a bunch of old fogies and he could win, no problem. Cards come: 3-4-J-K. Lucky Lads Ace's hold up and he takes the pot, Boozers out.

Now Lucky Lad thinks, "That was easy, what I'll do is just wait till I get another pair of aces and do it again." Being a teenager, he fires the Sims 2 back up, puts on his I-pod plugs and slots a DVD movie in the player, multi-tasking. That's the last we here from Lucky Lad, the pocket aces never come again and the movies really good. Of course when he phones Chad 2 hours later it's "I won 3 games in a row just betting those old fogies under the table."

2nd Hand - Fred & June get dealt pocket jacks. Fred and June are retired, live in a double wide out west where it's hot and dry. Kids are grown up and have moved away. They live on a pension and are enjoying their retirement. Two heads are better than one and Fred & June do pretty well on the poker. They'll finish third in this tourney, though, because as Fred says, '5 bucks is 5 bucks and what's the point of gambling it.'

Everyone else folds except for The Pro, holding A-K hearts. The pro is a poker player. He can figure odds in his head, knows how to bluff, read tells, check raise, limp in, push, when to fold and when to call. He makes a steady profit on-line, helps others in the forums and is building a steady rep on the on-line poker scene. Cards come J , Q , 2 , hearts, 6 - 9 off suit. Fred & June have trips and after much discussion:

June: "What do you think Big Fred?"
Fred: "Can't lose Honey bun."

They bet half their stack. The Pro calls with his flush (remember, he's a poker player, not a villain) and takes down the pot.

3rd Hand - Numbers man gets dealt J-K clubs. Numbers Man has a 21" flat panel screen on his Pentium PC and has downloaded a poker odds calculator from a web site for only $29.95. He's got them both up on the screen. Numbers Man works in the accounting department of a big insurance company. He knows just enough about poker to be dangerous, thinks he's a wiz with numbers. Figures with the odds calculator he can punch in each hand real time, get the odds and only bet when the program tells him he's got a winner. What Numbers Man doesn't know, of course, is that the Poker Odds Calculator was written by a 21 year old college student writing his first Visual Basic program who now works at Taco Bell.

Across from Numbers Man is me, The Amateur. Normal guy, normal life, normal everything. Enjoy poker, played a bit at the casinos when I was younger, watch the pros play on TV, read a few articles about poker and dream of winning a WSOP bracelet . I get dealt A-4 off suit.

I check. The odds calculator says check, so Numbers Man checks.

The Flop: Q-7 spades, 6 hearts.

I check, looking for the second ace. The odds calculator says check, so Numbers Man checks.

Turn: Ace of spades. Got my aces and bet half my stack. Numbers Man calls, cause the odds calculator tells him to.

River: 2 of clubs.

On Numbers Man screen the odds calculator is beeping and blinking. Flashing on the screen is 'GO ALL IN - GO ALL IN'. Unbeknown to Numbers Man the odds generator has just crashed and thinks he has the 'nut flush'. Numbers Man who has never actually looked at his hand, just his $29.95 odds generator, goes all in.

I win with my ace pair and Numbers Man is out.

Now we're down to 3. Me, The Pro and Fred & June. Because it's Poker Stars, we all start getting dealt Action Hands.

In the end we all go all-in on the first hand.

The Pro wins with a AAA-KK boat.

I come second with a KKK-AA boat.

Fred & June come third with QQQ-KK boat.

(Well it is Poker Stars remember).

Boozer wakes up the next day and can't quite remember if he got his straight last night.

Lucky Lad is hanging out at the Mall and just met Susan who also likes the Sims.

Fred & June are playing golf today.

The Pro logs on to his on-line banking account and makes another deposit.

Numbers Man heads off to work after writing a scathing email to the odds generator site demanding his $29.95 back.

Me? I'm doing stuff, staying busy. Think I'll play some poker tonight......

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