Poker Therapy:
Information Overload & Jealousy

Doesn't it seem like the world is really amuck these days? Local and national newscasts are filled with tales of woe. Husbands murdering their wives, kids shooting other kids, and other violent horrible crimes seem to be a norm. We hear about insurance and health care problems, the future of Social Security is unclear, and a war with no set ending point puts so many lives at risk. All of that (and more) is forced into our consciousness from the newspapers, magazines, websites, TV broadcasts, and talk around the water cooler. I sometimes need to do a reality check with myself and those that I counsel, rethinking the overall state of the world we live in. Most of our lives are actually going pretty well, if we measure fairly. If we would accurately compare our current status with our grandparents and great grandparents, we might have a different mindset about things. You see, we tend to overvalue the information that we encounter. We are inundated with negative reporting in this age of dozens of 24 hour new shows, talk radio, websites and blogs, and overflowing magazine racks. If we allow ourselves to mindlessly accept what we heard and read, our overall perception is taken on a course that we do not control.

I found myself being swayed by information presented to me by a poker buddy of mine. Over the past year I have been overwhelmed by his stories of poker conquests. It seems that I could expect a weekly phone call or visit that would undoubtedly include listening to his impressive lists of his latest poker accomplishments. I'd hear about his improbable run at an online cash game that netted him $4000 in profits in 2 days. The next time I'd hear about his big cash win at a $1500 buy-in live tournament in Atlantic City. Then he'd call my house late at night to tell me he just won his second $200 sit & go of the night. Later, he'd boast about the way he bullied the tables at an illegal card room in town to easily pull down $12,000 in one month of part-time play. I could not help but internalize his constant barrage of information. My results were no where close to matching the continual success that he reported. I began to wonder why I was falling short of his mark. Since I've known this guy and his style for a long time, I was certain that his ability did not surpass mine. Thus, I had to deduce that I was doing something wrong. I stared to believe that I was failing myself. It was a dangerous, unhelpful time where I was second-guessing myself and my ability. My confidence started to wane and I became determined to find what was broken or was harming my concentration and my game. I grew to be envious, resentful, and frustrated. It was time for me to counsel myself, and set myself straight.

I came to realize that I was being swayed by taking small bits of edited information to heart. You see, the world is not as horribly cruel as the evening news would lead us to believe. Likewise, my pal's unprecedented run of profits was not as perfect as he initially presented. While he was the first to excitedly retell others of the time he bluffed and bullied his way to a $2000 night, he neglected to add into the story that the night before he was burned for $2500 in Pot Limit Omaha online. While he had indeed scored a cash place in Atlantic City, he had burned through � of those winnings in tournament buy-ins that did not go as well for him. He was not trying to mask his losses or misrepresent himself; he was just attempting to highlight his successes that were naturally interesting and fun to talk about. It is much like newscasters who tell us of the daily lowlights. The ratings and attention go with the interesting stories. It was my own metal errors that allowed my thinking and emotions to get tied up into everything, causing me to be in a state of perpetual tilt.

Poker is so very psychological in nature. Don't allow others to ever command that personal poker psychology. Be sharply focused on filtering incoming information. Mindlessly accepting what we read and hear can have profound effects on your thinking, your emotions, and your play. When you feel jealousy, self-doubt, and uncertainty enter your psyche, it is time to do some deep re-thinking. Identify where these emotions originate, then work to critically evaluate the source of the information that drives the reaction. Play smarter and play better. Now go make it happen.

Note: In addition to being a columnist for many of the top poker magazines in the U.S. and Canada, John is a National Certified Counselor (NCC) in America. He has a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from West Virginia University, and a Bachelor's degree in Psychology with a minor in Sociology from Lock Haven University. You can arrange for interviews, speaking engagements, or find out more about the psychology of poker by emailing carlisle14@hotmail.com.

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